Seperated

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Spiritual but not religious

That’s what she wrote on her profile page

She was pretty

Thin in the saddle,  but enough meat on the hinges

Perky nipples turned up to the moon

And so they are

A hundred million beautifull stars

And a Million miles away

Like

Rory Gallagher

Of recent edit, the ‘about  part of the page read different

Some added information

Now we read  ‘  Separated but not divorced’

Like so many of mankind She was possible also now

All dressed up with nowhere

To go

I thought of an hourglass, then hated my face

Ingrid had it right,

In some ways, and

Things

She was a demon,  and,

She was a beautiful poet

She was honest, yet  impossible

And so am I,

Impossible

I m cut from crooked wood

From sinew, that wild dogs wont touch

I m ready to go to WAR, in fact sometimes I think of it as my ‘calling

I use to cling to romantic ideas

I believed in Love

That dog dont hunt

That lie is amongst the Generals, and Politicians, and

Huisgenoot

My last chance was the small bug eyed dog

But i had to leave that house

Eventually as well

 

fool

I m so empty i cannot look at myself

When you pursue and follow up, and go to the extent

to get hold of something, and then just as you get the thing it falls over and brakes in front of you, just when you turn your back to pick up your camera

that my day

thats life

there is nothing, and no one

there is just the quiet silence of me

looking at a failed fool

 

The world

Walk to the office

Its 20feet way from the container

Put on the kettle,

Throw instant coffee into a paper cup

Open the pc, check the emails

Open FB, see there Chocky the Boston, that no body has so far adopted

I see there on the Boston FB page other dogs

People have abandoned …

 

I listen to Hichens

(2006) the axis of evil.

” Nobody can think they are save”

The Republic of fear must always be maintained.

The world is run and ruled by dictators, by despicable men

 

Fantastic

You cannot force it, but when it happens its great

What I m referring to is getting ‘over’ someone

Getting over the hurt

Getting over the WANT

And once that happens your free

And its like a new bird in the garden singing a new song

Its bloody fan fuckingtasttic

 

Finding something else entirely

His name was Steve, he was our medic at Taza PowerPlant Iraq 2010

He was surprised when I told him I was single.

Thought it ‘strange that I would prefer to be ‘alone’

He had a newly acquired wife. The previous one didn’t work out

The new one was telling him what a good ‘deal he had, whilst she was out

Spending his money

She was a regular Princess

And all the while he lived in a container under sandbags two thirds of the year. But we all knew(except Steve) if it wasn’t for the Off shore money,

She would not piss on him sideways even  if he naturally combusted next to her

Yet Steve ‘believed  his efforts was going to pay off in the end, and that he was in love with ‘his soulmate

At night he spoke with her  on Skype. Often it would  be an argument about money … Two weeks before he had bought a new lounge sweet, and now she was going away for a week to France.

Yet somehow  he believed that he had found’ Someone, and Something worth having

He didn’t want to get old alone(he told me) …

Then there was D.

We sometime s had a drink at night

Then he d ‘share’ … and he’d tell me about ‘T’ – The new wife

T’ had two children. The Boy wanted to be a girl, and the girl was an angry dyke that hated men

D was smitten never the less. And T ‘milked him

D’ sat there crying in a container telling me, night after night, about how he loved her, and how she was screwing some old boyfriend back at home whilst the ‘kids were living in the house he was paying for

Whilst he was counting off the days in a container, waxing his carrot, before he would fly back home to be’ together’ with his ‘soul mate’ his own Tornado

And the then;

There was Rich , who got his head blown off,

And his newly acquired Russian Wife who ‘scored Big with the Life Insurance payout, She could hard believe her luck!

And Mr Burns(as we called him)

And Sean

And Warren

And Johno

And Craig

And the List goes on and on

All tough, capable guys.

All looking for love

But finding something else entirely

We could likewise erect a Wall of remembrance for these men

Went away from Family, and Life

Went away and dreamt of love waiting back at home

But got the rug pulled

Got told

They aint worth it

Somewhere mommy found a better deal

 

 

 

 

 

 

Missy

You come out of your mother’s womb, and

Your feet haven’t

Touched the ground

Yet …

They will start on you.

Starting ‘God’s’ work

‘Bending the forming tree’, as the saying goes

Telling you = you aint shit

Telling you to stand up straight,

To take your hands out of your pockets, and to remove your hat

Obey the teachers,

Listen to the preachers

Twisting  you in the direction they foresee

Sometimes the spirit breaks

Sometimes the spirit turns rebelious

You end up damaged goods

Degenerate outlaw Biker that carries in ‘a wallet

A picture of a dog

Called Missy

If I had to explain

i’v shadow boxed for hundreds of hours

Possible thousands of hours, could it all be counted

Yet , I never had that fast twitch like sugar Ray Leonard

I didn’t float like a butterfly,

I stuck like shit

instead

If you didn’t put me down

I came ringing your bell a little bit later

I didn’t turn Pro, as my Uncle had suggested

I got paneled for free, in the Amateurs

I got to the sport a little late. Only when I went to the Navy in 88

And didn’t take long for me to realize there were no substitute for experience

And,

A hungry heart couldn’t take you all the way

along the way I saw, that talent was not appreciated by those that had it … I can name you some …

 

I had to work hard for it

Had to swallow knuckle sandwiches  … to the extent where the Northern Transvaal Team Committee left me out of the team the one year saying I took to many punches …

I run far .. and eventually was running further than almost anyone

I was fortunately stubborn enough to hang with the guys who had three hundred fights …

I was the underdog, and that was my preferred place

It took the pressure away

when people started telling me I was great that’s when I failed miserably

So,

Along with some of my other ‘dreams’ … I never reached my goals concerning this

And

When I were eventually selected in 96′ to go to the USA, I went and did something else instead …

& When I got selected to go and fight in Greece in 2002, I crashed my bike, at the very same time I had to find a job …

So that ship sailed without me

I  look back now, and think what if …

Silly perhaps?

Yet there was something about it

That I miss

And unless you v done it

You possible wouldn’t understand