something unatainable

For a long time

Longer than I can say, and longer than I can remember

I had a feeling

A thought

That there was something  … Someone  worthwhile

But before long I d start shouting

And shouting was one of the things that they all hated about me … ” You shout” she would say …”You shout at me” they would say … Do not shout ! She ‘d shout back at me!

I d always end up defending myself by saying that I did not  mean to shout … That I were just excited … That because of ‘the moment’ & frustration the decibels where dispatched

But that answer never did it … never got me off the hook

And that would be the time they(all) would highwaymen the moral high ground

And that then would make me angry all over again …

 

i wanted to break bread,

And drink wine with you

I wanted to find you … And I wanted you to embrace that … to be found

Hell!

I wanted more than that!

More than happy go lucky

I wanted you to understand my conviction

I wanted to grab you by ankle and thigh … as we swam through the kelp … I wanted you To curl up close to me at night …

I wanted love and rockets

 

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