Pam Grier on youtube

Last night I watched some youtube
One after the other clips,
Some UFC, some music, and then something about the actress Pam Grier
She reminded me of Bassit
Hell, she is a Fox, this Pam
Or rather she use to be, she is a fat thing now
Never the less it once again brought me to …
My own stupid story, I struggled to get away from

I v been at times ….
Sort of melodramatic
Unmanly
Heatcliff and Cathy
Ha-ha

But even those stomach ace love stories do fade
Thank fuck
That’s apparently so for everyone?
We all do recover,
And find new things to be sad, and fucked up about

We ll grow callous, and meet more as-holes on life’s journey, and our hearts die
and our memories fade

Or some of us get even more stupid, and sentimental
Pondering about the fish we lost on our silver hook

Thus we may now(for a brief spell) still glance back at our sentimental imagination

I went back, and read some of the emails again
We supposedly felt a lot?

And in our mails, then tried to convincing each other?
I usually(always) had more to say, more to bitch abt, and more to explain,
But still came out the other end
Just really sounding stupid
A love-drunk idiot
An unbalanced Cupid throwing darts …
However,
You where a dartboard too far, hanging on a screwed(or should that be a scew’ed?) wall,
And subsequently I never got you pinned, for my own lack of ‘chasing?
Or reading you right,
Fucked if I know

You did say a few things, but when I was home, you where yet again too far
It became a seesaw ride … One day this , the next day ‘Not’
Certainly or maybe?
What was it to be?

And so I left …

But we faltered and met again, To repeat our folly
Yet noting concrete was done
You waited for me
I waited for you
Neither trusted the other
You liked the attention I bestowed upon you
My BS sentimental nonsense entertained you some
But its time for us to get along,
Now, and be honest
You l be OK

What you may fail to understand, is that I do not want to be your friend
No
I wanted another ‘title’
Pick-up at the airport
Number dialed
You could not keep the promises
You told me you met a guy
Second place never really was off any interest to me

SO look to find a little forgiveness if you can?
If you may
Whats a friend?
Whats that mean …?
A slice off pizza?
You must now ask your man to entertain you

I did enjoy those Kalkbay days, when you sat on the stairs, when we use to meet for a glass of wine,
I hoped you d come back, like the Stones would sing
“Come back to me” …
That was the Mirage

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